DussInBoots

If you don’t believe in God, how do you deal with hardships?

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine, in the midst of her own personal struggles, asked me this question. And I have a habit of rambling on and on until I can manage to arrange my thoughts and answer the actual question directed at me. So after a couple of minutes, I shared this story.

Back in January, when friends were looking out their windows excitedly capturing the snowfall on their phones, I was struggling. Winter had not been easy on me. The lack of sunlight over an extended period of time had left me depressed, and rent was due on the 1st of February.

As a fully funded scholarship student, I shouldn’t have to worry about rent. But when I contacted my sponsors, they informed me that the second instalment of my maintenance allowance would only be released in March. So I was left with assignment deadlines, depressive episodes, and the very real possibility of being kicked out of my accommodation.

My friend who asked me the question wanted to know, if Christians find themselves in trouble and pray, what do non-believers do? How do we navigate hardships when we don’t have faith to fall back to? If we don’t believe there’s an almighty God who can pull us out of our misery?

Well, to say it frankly, I don’t personally do anything except wait for them to pass. Many times I would stand in the shower and cry, making sure the sound of the water pouring over me muffled out the sound. Then I would repeat to myself, “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. But things will work out. They always do. There’s no way in hell I’ll turn 50 and I will still be worrying about this”.

I was raised a Christian, and I can’t remember when exactly I stopped believing. But I haven’t prayed for more than seven years and I am still alive and well.

I am not writing this to bash religion or deem faith useless. Some people turn to God and it works for them. And I really do see a beauty in that. However, I am writing this to say that it does not work for everyone and I hope people will have the heart to accept that.

Many a time I’ve heard mizo people say, “Mi sual leh rilru chhe lutuk hi chu an tluang theilo“, which roughly translates to “Evil and sick-minded people rarely succeed in life“. As a Mizo woman myself, I’ve thought about this on occasions when I was wronged by people, not only hoping it would be true, but actually believing it. But the reality is that very often, those kinds of people do succeed. Sometimes people who have done terrible things succeed in their careers, become wealthy, gain power, and live lives that seem untouched by the consequences of their actions while the kindest people are hungry and sick.

We like to believe that God is on our side. But bad things happen to people, no matter their religious background. And I don’t think God is teaching us lessons or punishing us. I think the reality of life is that there will be good days and there will be terrible ones. There will be moments when everything seems to be falling perfectly into place, and there will be moments when you wonder how you are going to make it through the next week, let alone the rest of your life. Being religious doesn’t exempt you from suffering, just as being an atheist doesn’t mean you are destined for it.

I have a lot of hope that humanity will one day come together, put aside our differences, and finally be able to see each other as humans.

Maybe the world is, in many ways, deeply unfair. And if that is the reality of life, the only way we truly survive is by being kind to one another. By learning to see people as people before we see them as Muslims, Hindus, atheists, immigrants, gays, trans, or anything else we have decided to use to divide ourselves. Because beneath all of those labels, the same colour blood runs through our veins.

And maybe someday, acceptance will sell better than hatred.